Stroke of genius: Eaton combines golf, giggles for ‘Disasters’ tournament
BENTON, Ky. — When it comes to comedy, Quinn Eaton gets serious.
So it should come as no surprise that the former Marshall County First Region champion and current Murray State men’s golfer has spent the last few weeks physically, mentally and emotionally preparing more than 3,000 yards of golf-able grass on his family farm in Benton — a labor of love, laughs and links coalescing into a hilarious 54-hole championship on June 5 he called the 2021 “Disasters.”
Aside from a 2020 break-in-the-action because of COVID-19, it’s an effort he, his friends and his family have put forward since 2014, with the tournament taking on a larger-than-life atmosphere each passing summer.
“It started out as maybe a group of five or six guys getting together, and I’d make a little course in the front and back yard,” Eaton said. “This is the longest course we’ve done.”
Aside from the fact Eaton and his family cut actual golf holes in their sprawling homestead, nearly 20 players — including a celebrity 18-hole round from former Marshall County boys golf coach Keith Bell — were treated to bush-hogged fairways, tractor-flattened greens and natural ponds and streams serving as water hazards.
Weaving through soft glens, thick woods and natural grasslands, the course comically — and often — invoked everyone’s favorite four-letter curses. An awry shot meant a lost ball and a designated drop zone; an amazing shot earned a barbaric “YAWP” in celebration.
Through the sheer hilarity of it all came a sincere cause for competition. The winner earned a relatively sharp lime-green jacket (akin to the Masters’ green jacket) and a bald-eagle-hot-glued-to-a-trinket-box. Second place snagged a colorful plastic toucan. No one strove for the last-place parrot — an upgrade from what used to be a mini toilet bowl for the worst in the clubhouse.
So, of course, it all came down to the final hole — when two-time defending KHSAA boys golf champion Jay Nimmo sunk a birdie on No. 18 to upstage Eaton on his own course by a single stroke.
A par 72, the two former high school teammates went into the final round tied at 4-under. Eaton eagled No. 18 on a chip shot from rocky landscaping to force the tie, before Nimmo — also the defending 2019 BGA champion (Eaton’s last tournament) — secured the bag with his own stunning hole-out.
The only thing missing from this setting: a large gallery and live scoring, both of which might be coming sooner rather than later. The popularity is growing, and Eaton knows how to work live scoring technology.
“It’s gotten more serious every single year,” Eaton added. “Having tee markers and flags and things like that have just come in the past two years or so. But it’s just a good way to get a group of guys together and have fun for a Saturday.”
RECAP: AYN2K’s Instagram Story on the 2021 Disasters.
The gem of the course — aside from a loaming “Amen Valley” complete with a natural creek bed — comes on Holes No. 1 and No. 18, which lope more than 90 yards over the home’s front-yard, wildlife-teeming pond where golf balls go to die.
Miss short, and it’s splish-splash. Miss long, and it’s “I’m sorry, I’ve hit the barn/house.”
The course is a test in one’s wedge work, but more importantly, it’s just good ol’ fashioned fun.
So what’s next for Eaton and his contrived course? Another tournament this July, and plenty more in the coming years. But will more local golfers get involved? Could Eaton’s comedy inspire another family to perhaps rise to the occasion, and build another silly savanna? What if Eaton secured other alumni teams — say, from McCracken County, Graves County, Murray and Calloway County — to play in a Ryder Cup-like format?
There’s a lot on the table, and anything seems plausible as long as the laughs are in order.
“Every time we post about it, there’s a lot of engagement with people seeing the videos and seeing pictures of the course,” Eaton said. “All it’s going to take is the right person seeing it. And maybe…this is all funded by my own pocket. If I had a little bit more money, it might help [things]. But it’s worth it. This is always really fun, and I look forward to this in the summer.
“And all the guys that are a part of it really like it. The seriousness just comes from how it’s put together. The course is actually pretty legit, so then people play golf…and it’s kind of legit.”
Kind of legit. Good enough.
for those who inquired. 